I woke to hear the murmurings of a new language: brainstem compromise, cerebromedullary disconnection, de-efferented state My brain was inundated and turned to slosh like plains after the flood’s passed through speech swept away by torrent vocal cords divorced from breath expression marooned and I am now a silent island devoid of movement and of gesture no matter how I muster will to signal ‘stop’ or raise a lip-corner of smile Monotony weighs in, a daily groan Nurses flit. Fluids enter and exit via tubes Medical students loom dangling stethoscopes like rattles I’m locked in, looking out tracking the movements of others who are teaching me to employ eyelid-flutter as speech I haven’t achieved competence with the new Morse – lid movements are effort-laden my code, indecipherable so I can’t tell them I’m leaving that I’ll employ the words crowding my head, aim their acuity at the rot, dissect and redefine it I’ll fly out through the key-hole if I have to They think I’m wallowing in my own garbage but I am gathering strength to soar ( In memory of Vivian Wilson, honorary Māori chief and All Black, 1899–1978 )
