killing my commas softly (Sarah St Vincent Welch)
enamoured of the pause
the dawdling the adding on
the lists, the enjambent
forced, I admit
less in love
with the arguments the rules
the haughtiness of editors
(not poetry editors, mind you)
my prosey report editing colleagues
holding up a falling edifice
by themselves the masses
revolting
the commas in their iron hearts
the comma the most weaponised
of all punctuation
aimed across desks as ninja stars
commas the shape of tears
raining from above
I prefer to massage a sentence
break it up gently with a timely, small
restructure to avoid the stabs
I avoid pain
in poetry my commas are shedding
like autumn falls
like rubbed eyelashes
crescents
scales
a sweep of black kohl wiped off with oil
even the ninja stars yes
the shurikens spinning
lodged in the walls
I leap to the ceiling and cling
uncut
my aspiration is to let
you find your own breath
within my lines my marks
rarely ask for you to hold
for over long
to tease you to a pant
on occasion
then rest in a space
an absence
a rythmic
letting go
I am glad you relate, Jane, it is so fun to be playful with punctuation. I love the marks of punctuation or all the resonances and then all the implications when it is not there and what sidles in to replace it, or doesn’t sidle in. And the challenge of minimal punctuation an what that means. It is a wordy trip. Lovin the experience.
Oh yes! And full stops are even more weaponised… I think I’m beginning to shed them in poetry but I’ve certainly used my share of them
Haha. But what about rooves? (In joke)
Yes Sarah I love the playfulness of your poem. For me, some poems seem to call for punctuation and others repel it. Using it or not using it certainly seems to change the poem
I agree Jane. It is so interesting.
In response to a comment by Jane Skelton
I was persuaded to kill the rooves. But then I saw someone else use it online, and thought phew. Very interesting, isn’t it? I have reverted to the modern spelling. That is the sort of conversation I love with editors and proofreaders. 🙂
In response to a comment by ACski